Sandwich Shortage Causes Stir-fry

February 12, 2020 by Stephanie Benjamin in Satire, Med students, Emergency Department, Residents

Wok n’ Wards, the new restaurant at Hospital Woeisme, caused quite a stir-fry in the emergency department last week. The restaurant replaced a longstanding delicatessen, and features Asian styles dishes where patrons can mix and match vegetables, noodles, and meats such as chicken, pork, and beef. Notably missing from the menu is any dish with turkey.

Name Change for University College of Woeisme

January 17, 2020 by Stephanie Benjamin in Medicine, Satire, Med students

The University College of Woeisme officially changed its name to University of Woeisme College of Medicine at a ribbon cutting ceremony earlier today. The name change occurred just prior to the school’s annual pep rally. Rumors abound that the actual impetus for the name change was the result of an unfortunate incident with a prominent donor.

Professor Charged with Attempted Death by PowerPoint

January 07, 2020 by Stephanie Benjamin in Satire, Med students

A startling and unnerving event is unfolding at University of Woeisme College of Medicine. Professor Dr. Dume has been taken into custody for the attempted murder of an undisclosed, but reportedly astronomical, number of medical students. The charges against Dume specified multiple counts of ‘Voluntary Death by PowerPoint.’

Dr. McMuffin Hired as New Peds Hospitalist

January 02, 2020 by Stephanie Benjamin in Satire, Residents, Pediatrics, Med students

Dr. McMuffin, the lesser-known cousin of beloved TV physician Doc McStuffins, is the newest pediatric hospitalist at Hospital Woeisme. The young physician has already impressed her colleagues with her breadth of knowledge and clinical acumen, but apparently that is where the similarities with her cousin end. The residents have already been heard grumbling about McMuffin’s less than inviting personality and multitude of pet peeves.

Med Students Revolt! No One Notices.

December 11, 2019 by Stephanie Benjamin in Satire, Medicine, Med students, Med school

In an unprecedented move, medical students at University of Woeisme have joined forces and staged the largest revolt ever executed on school grounds. Citing discontent with undocumented 100-hour workweeks, condescending patients, disparaging residents, being ignored by attendings, and lack of recess, the medical students decided that they couldn't handle the harsh treatment anymore.